


Regrets

by royalty_among_stars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Black Family Feels (Harry Potter), Gen, Post- Wizarding Wars, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black Feels, Sirius Black Lives, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27262396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalty_among_stars/pseuds/royalty_among_stars
Summary: It's 1999, and it's been an year after the end of the second Wizarding War. It's 1999, and Sirius visits his brother's grave twenty years after he's left the world behind.In front of this gravestone, on which the final days of this forgotten hero are carved into stone, is where forgotten memories and regrets resurface.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Prologue

It's been an year since the end of the Wizarding War. Harry gives a lengthy interview on the unknown heroes of the Wizarding Wars and also decides to properly bury one of them - Regulus Black.


	2. A Gravestone

_At night, 6th August, 1999_

A big, black dog makes its way towards the graveyard. It kept on walking until it reached its destination - 

_REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK_

_1961 -1979_

_The forgotten hero_

It stopped and looked at it, as if reading the name. Then, it transformed into Sirius Black. He kneeled in front of the stone and dropped his head. Slowly, he lifted his hand kept it on the stone. Moving it down, he found what he was looking for. He traced the letters with his fingers as memories of Regulus came flooding back to him.


	3. Sirius' First Day

Sirius ran towards the Hogwarts Express with Reg at his heels and their mother yelling at them. Once he reached the door, he turned around and let Reg catch up.

He grinned as Reg flung his arms around his neck and whispered, "Bye, I'll miss you," into his ear. Sirius hugged him back, saying, "It's only three months, I'll be back for Christmas, right?"

Reg released him, nodding his head. He looked at their mum who had caught up with them, looking furious. Reg smiled, "You should get going." Sirius gave Walburga a cheeky grin before taking his trunk from her.

He turned back to Regulus and said, "I'll miss you too," before hopping onto the train, ready for his first year at Hogwarts.

He did not come home for Christmas.

_'I should have come. I should have come knowing that I wouldn't get the chance to talk to you as your brother ever again.'_


	4. Regulus' Sorting

It had already been five minutes. Regulus was already a hatstall, and still the Sorting Hat had not declared a house.

The Marauders could see Sirius becoming impatient as he watched his brother. The entire Great Hall was silent, except for a few students who had started whispering, as they waited. "Must be quite an argument," commented James, as he switched his gaze back to Regulus. "Yeah," Sirius said absentmindedly. "You know he's more likely to get into Slytherin, right?" asked Remus. "Yeah."

James, Remus and Peter looked at each other with mischievous grins on their faces.

"Are you getting impatient?"

"Yeah."

"This is taking reeaally long."

"Yeah."

"Lily's hot."

"Yeah."

"James!" Remus chided.

"Sorry."

"Do you fancy Minnie?"

"Yea-No!"

"At least now you're paying attention," smirked Peter.

"There are other ways to check if I'm paying attention!"

"Whatever they were arguing about, I think the Hat's lost," Remus pointed out. They turned their attention back to Regulus only to see a rather sullen-looking Hat as he(it?) announced to the Hall - "Slytherin!"

Regulus got up, gave the Hat to McGonagall and walked over to the Slytherin table as Sirius followed him with his eyes. "Don't feel bad Sirius. He chose them and now he's one of them, which means he's our enemy," James said, following his best friend's gaze. Sirius just nodded in reply.

_'Had I known what they were dong to you, I never would have blamed you.'_


	5. Enemies

Sirius glared at him as he made his way across the Great Hall. It had been two years since his Sorting. It had been two years since the Black brothers turned into enemies.

"What about a little prank, Padfoot?" James asked, mischievously eyeing the younger Black.

"Yeah," Peter piped up, "You seem a little down anyway."

"You know what, I think that'll cheer me up," declared Sirius, getting up and taking is wand out.

"Are you su-", started Remus, only to be cut off by James.

"Are you a Marauder or not, Moony?"

"Fine," Remus sighed, drawing his wand.

They stealthily followed Regulus out of the Hall and into the corridor. "Ready?" James asked quietly. The others nodded. Raising their wands as one, they cried, "Aguamenti!" - at the floor - "Stupefy!" -at their victim.

Unfortunately for the Marauders, Regulus had heard James and dodged both spells as they came towards him. He turned around and glared at the Marauders. "Should've known," he growled, narrowing his eyes.

"What would you have done by knowing?" mocked Peter.

"Um, guys I think-" started Remus, looking behind them at a group of Slytherins approaching.

"Not now, Remus," Sirius interrupted, raising his wand, so that Regulus had to do the same.

"Stupefy!"

"Protego!"

"Expelliarmus! Bombarda!"

Sirius smiled in triumph as Regulus' wand came to his hand and Regulus hit the wall. He lifted his head to glare daggers at the Marauders.

"Guys, we need to go!" said Remus, noticing that Regulus' housemates were raising their wands threateningly and that they were outnumbered.

Sirius dropped his brother's wand and left with his friends, but not before giving Regulus a triumphant smirk.

_'I never would have hated you if had I known that you had never hated me, even after all that I did to you.'_


	6. Running Away

Sirius chucked the last of his belongings into his trunk and locked it. He sighed. This was it. He was leaving. Just then he saw a figure at his door.

"You're leaving", Regulus said. It wasn't a question, just a statement. Sirius picked up his trunk and walked over to him.

"Come with me," he said.

"I can't," Regulus replied, his expression not changing at all, staying calm and composed like any other Slytherin.

"Where will you go?" Regulus asked, eyeing his trunk.

"James'll take me in,"Sirius answered. He took one last look at Regulus, who once used to be his dear younger brother.

He turned and walked, not once turning back, not even to see a tear roll down his brother's cheek.

_' "I can't". You never said you didn't want to. I never would have left had I known the consequences. Will you ever forgive me?'_


	7. Battles

Bellatrix cackled again as she dodged yet another spell. Sirius sighed thinking, 'This is what happens when you duel a senior Death Eater'.

A younger Death Eater fired a stunner at Mad-eye. 'What is he thinking?' thought Sirius, 'Trying to duel Mad-eye?' The next spell hit Moody, surprising Sirius. 'Did he just duel Mad-eye and win?!'

Suddenly, he realized that the Death Eater was facing him and Bellatrix found someone else who was "worth fighting against". It hit Sirius that the Death Eater looked terribly familiar, silver eyes glinting under his hood.

"We meet again, brother," he said.

"Regulus?"

"Who else?" Regulus replied.

"You just defeated Mad-eye!"

"You notice a bit too much for someone who's in a battle," Regulus answered wryly.

"Exactly. We're in a battle," Sirius said, raising his wand.

"If you insist," Regulus said, slowly raising his own. Then, suddenly "Serpensortia!"

Sirius deflected it, "Stupefy!"

"Protego! Sectumsempra!"

It seemed as if hours went by as one shot a spell and the other deflected or dodged it. And neither of them seemed to be tiring until Regulus suddenly stopped and disapparated.

"Alright. Duel's over," said Sirius, a little surprised, with a shrug. He looked around and saw all the Death Eaters had left and the other Order members seemed equally surprised.

_'I should have noticed that you never attacked unless provoked. You never wanted to be part of this. But you were forced to.'_


	8. A Last Goodbye

Sirius was bored. Absolutely bored. He was sprawled on his couch, thinking of a way to pass the time. The doorbell rang, giving Sirius the thought 'Who could be here at this time?'. It was quite dark outside and these were bad times. He got up and opened it to find -

"Regulus?" His eyes turned cold. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to tell you something," Regulus said, "I'm-I'm not going to be able to talk to you after this."

"Right, Hogwarts' over. Now you're officially a Death Eater. Yay. Go kill some muggles", Sirius said, glaring.

"I just came to say goodbye," Regulus said, ignoring him.

"Why? Why can't you leave the Death Eaters? Why did you even have to join in the first place?" Sirius burst out.

Regulus ignored him, "I have to go. Don't have much time."

Sirius sighed, "Fine. Go."

"At least appreciate the fact that I came!"

"Yeah. You come and then ignore almost everything that I say," Sirius replied, annoyance lacing his voice.

Regulus muttered something that sounded like "don't make this harder for me". Sirius raised an eyebrow questioningly. Regulus just shook his head exasperatedly. 

"Goodbye brother."

"You're no brother of mine."

Regulus just gave a sad smile, nodded and walked out.

_'I should have known that it would be the last time I would ever see you.'_


	9. Devestating News

Sirius had asked the Marauders - which now included Lily - to come over for some time. They were sitting in peaceful silence when it was interrupted by a _tap tap tap._

"Stupid owl," Sirius muttered, opening the window. His irritation disappeared when he saw who sent it. Their last conversation had gone nowhere. He opened it and found the familiar angular script staring up at him. It formed one line: _Meus frater semper remanebis._

"Why would he-" Sirius started, only to be cut of by another sharp _tap tap._ The noise drew the Marauders. This owl seemed to be holding a fiery red envelope.

"Three guesses who sent me that Howler," Sirius said sarcastically. He opened the window, took the letter and opened it. As expected, the voice of Walburga Black filled the room. But what was unexpected, was the content.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT YOUR BROTHER IS DEAD -" The rest Sirius couldn't hear as everything turned into a blur. He slowly lifted Regulus' letter and read it over and over again, until it finally set in - Regulus was gone.

_"She was right. It was my fault. I failed."_

Meus frater semper remanebis : My brother you will always remain 


	10. A Graveyard Visit

He knew he was not supposed to come. He wasn't allowed to. He was a blood traitor. But he came. He thought he owed this to Regulus.

He went and sat down in front of the stone. They hadn't found any body to bury, but they made a marker. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts return to the day before. He had felt as if time itself had stopped. He just stood there, frozen to the spot. He knew he had lost his brother the day Regulus returned his ignorance, but Lily never had to comfort him and say that it would be alright.

But it wouldn't be. The moment the fact that he was dead set in, he felt lonely. His friends even stayed the night to keep him company, but he still felt alone.

It started to rain. 

He never knew how Regulus meant to him, until he had lost him. He felt a hot tear make its way down his cheek.

Most would say that it was cowardice to leave Voldemort's ranks. Even he would. But wasn't it bravery to defy Voldemort? Wasn't it a courageous act to defy the darkest wizard of all time?

"Sleep well little brother. Until we meet again."

Little did he know that he would be sitting right there again, 20 years later.

_'I just wish you were still here.'_


	11. Back Home

Sirius strolled through the corridors, thinking of something to do. He still didn't think it was fair that he had to stay stuck at Grimmauld Place. One reason was that Sirius wasn't one to sit out battles. The second... was the fact that coming back here renewed the pain of losing his brother. His room just had to be next to Regulus' room, didn't it?

When he was talking to Harry, he made it sound like he despised him, even though it was quite the opposite. He didn't want the Order to think that he cared about a Death Eater. 

He stopped in front of an all too familiar door, with peeling paint (this house was _old_ ) and a plaque that read:

_Do not enter without the expressed permission of_

_Regulus Arcturus Black_

When he was clearing up space for the Order members, he had found the door locked. It still was locked, mainly to make sure Molly Weasley wouldn't clear his room too. Maybe he should check out what state it was in after 16 years.

He opened the door with a few spells. It was covered with dust but otherwise seemed fine. Why would he feel the need to lock this room? Was it actually him or was it Kreacher? Probably Regulus.

He walked upto a drawer and pulled it open. The first thing that caught his eye was a photograph. It was Regulus' 9th birthday. Their parents had to go somewhere and had probably even forgotten. So Sirius somehow managed to bake cake (and in the process made the kitchen look like a tornado of cream and flour had passed, Kreacher had a fit) and celebrated Regulus' birthday, just the two of them.

Sirius sighed. Then it hit him. How does Regulus have this picture? When Andromeda left, all pictures of her were cleared out of the house. Surely they would do the same for him.

Maybe he did care.

_'I miss you Regulus. A lot. Why did you have to go?'_


	12. Truth

"Well actually-" Ron started.

The Trio had said they owed an explanation to where they were, why they were there etc. before the Battle of Hogwarts. And of course, why they didn't tell the Order about the Horcruxes.

"Dumbledore had asked us to keep it between ourselves, which means we couldn't tell you guys right?" Hermione finished for Ron. All she got as a reply was a raised eyebrow from Moody.

"Oh, come on!" Harry said.

"Okay let me get this straight," Kingsley said, "Dumbledore told you three about the Horcruxes?"

"Yep."

"Therefore, you spent months 'hunting' them?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you found Salazar Slytherin's locket with Dolores Umbridge? The same locket which Dumbledore thought was in the cave?"

"Yeah. But Dumbledore didn't just 'think' it was in the cave. It was. Someone else took the real one and replaced it with a fake," Harry corrected.

"Who took it? Wasn't Dumbledore the first one to know about the Horcruxes?" Tonks asked.

"Um... no. Someone found out about the Horcruxes during the First War. And he took the locket with the help of only a house-elf," Hermione stated with a hint of pride.

"A house-elf?" George asked.

"And he was successful. He replaced the real locket with a fake without anyone knowing. Voldemort didn't know for almost 19-20 years," Ron said, "Unfortunately, he got killed by the inferii."

"How did you find out who it was?" Molly asked.

"Now that, is a long story," Harry said. "You remember Bill and Fleur's wedding was crashed, right? And we went to Grimmauld Place? Well, that's where we found out."

"You found out who it was in Grimmauld?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"Yes." Sirius sat up straight, his eyes widening, "You mean it was -"

"Regulus," Hermione said, nodding.

"That explains a lot," Emmeline said, "We never knew who or what killed him, where he died or when exactly he died. Rather disturbing we never bothered to find out."

"Actually, the Death Eaters thought Aurors killed him," Snape said.

Sirius let himself zone out. _Reg_ took the locket. He was the first one to find out about the Horcruxes. He sacrificed his life to help defeat Voldemort. _His brother_ did all that.

Merlin, he hadn't called Reg his brother for so long.

"Sirius. Sirius, are you okay?" Remus asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

Sirius just smiled, "Don't worry about me. I'm more than okay."

He knew that whenever he would think about Reg, he'd have no hatred, just -

_'I'm proud to call you my younger brother, Reg.'_


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius sighed. Yep, That was it.. He could even say that he barely knew his brother, if anyone did. Even Snape hadn't seen that coming. Sirius smirked at the thought. Snape could get no closer to Reg than Sirius himself. Definitely some comfort in that.

He lifted his head to look at the stone. 1961 - 1979. He lived only to eighteen. Too young to even have been in the war. Suddenly, he remembered why he had come on this particular day.

"I know you're not here. I know you left years ago... but I - I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday, Reg. Had you been alive, then your 38th."

Every year following that, Sirius continued his visits to his brother's grave, especially on his birthday.

_'I love you Reg.'_

**Author's Note:**

> All Order members other than Dumbledore are alive. Sorry about the short chapter, the next one or two might also be a bit short.


End file.
